home is...

a list

in my last post, here, i wrote: “on another day, i could write poems about everything home is to me now”.

as it turns out, today is a day with potential for this, and what i share with you now, is an unfinished – could never be finished – list:

home is:

• a cosy bed with the blanket my teenage self bought abroad

• things that go in the toaster

• candles

• watching Gilmore girls on a TV

• stretching out my legs, and resting them in my girlfriend’s lap

• golden hour

• Aberystwyth, always – even if it’s been years since we embraced

• London, sometimes – even if i claim otherwise

• Poland, partly – even if i never had an address

• Thailand, momentarily and impactfully

• mess

• back scratches

• fragments of Sappho

• Spotify playlists

• songs Mairéad always plays

• the Eras tour

• friendship bracelets

• a heavy backpack

• change, for better or worse

• all my toiletries in one place

• getting to take my time in the shower

• forest green

• sky blue

• Pride parades

• glitter

• being missed

• being wanted

• bookshops

• the feeling i get in a theatre

• the purple/pink scarf Kay crocheted for me

• an 8-year old scrapbook Imogen made me

• note-filled envelopes

• a series i watched with my mum

• old photo albums

• framed photos

• digital photo albums

• peace

• peppermint

• coffee

• a thoughtful conversation without distractions

• a haircut without anxiety

• dancing without dressing up

• when the lamps are on

• Tesco’s round the corner

• familiar decorations

• books, CDs and DVDs i loved in childhood

• knowing my way around a room

• muddy walks

• smiling

• ridiculousness

• hugs

• having people to check in on

• birthday wishes and cards

• remembering

• feeling safe to cry

• staying in

• staying up

• ageing

• knowing grey hairs, wrinkles and weight gain are privileges

• clouds

• being known by cafe owners

• having somewhere to call “my town”

• cuddly toys

• nicknames i respond to faster than my actual name

• talking about the future with Mairéad

• tap water

• chocolate

• not knowing what to wear

• patterns

• reclining sofas

• seasons

• hanging out with my brother

• Dad’s curry

• Mum’s Christmas dinners

• tartiflette

• long walks

• headphones

• a go-to brand of toothpaste

• losing track of time

• how good it feels to make a list like this

• writing

• this Notes app

• my little corner on Substack

• hope

more from me:

taste of tartiflette

how to be a girl